Fabulous Wives vs. Bollywood Wives star Shalini Passi recently shared a story from her younger days, recalling the strict rules she faced regarding interactions with boys.
In an interview with Hauterrfly, she revealed, “My mother said ki if you… if any boy calls you, I will send you to boarding house. So I told everybody, ‘If you want me to go to boarding then you call me.’”
She added, “I used to give them the number with one digit missing. Always. Because sometimes they would keep asking, baar baar wahi poochte the number. Toh main ek digit miss kar deti thi. Because mujhe at least mera number toh yaad hai… par last wala number nahi yaad hai (They kept asking for my number again and again. So I would leave out one digit. Because at least I know my number… just not the last digit).”
When the host asked if they hadn’t tried any permutation or combination to reach her, she jokingly replied, “Utni akkal nahi hoti thi logon ko (People weren’t smart enough to figure it out).”
Passi’s story sheds light on the rigid norms many children, particularly girls, grow up with, often driven by parental fear or societal expectations.
While these measures are often implemented with good intentions, they can inadvertently create barriers to open communication between parents and children. Such restrictions may also impact a young person’s ability to navigate relationships or assert boundaries in a healthy way.
Potential long-term effects of overly strict parental rules on a child’s emotional development and confidence
Psychologist Anjali Gursahaney tells indianexpress.com, “Strict parenting or overly rigid rules can have significant psychological impacts on children. Constant criticism or denial of autonomy can lead to low self-esteem, as children may internalise the belief that they are not good enough. This environment often stifles independent decision-making, leaving children dependent on external validation and unsure of their own choices. The resulting resentment can manifest as rebellion, sometimes in unhealthy ways, as children push back against perceived constraints.”
Creating a safe space for children to discuss relationships and friendships
Gursahaney suggests the following steps parents should take:
Adopt a Non-Judgmental Attitude: Actively listen without interrupting, criticising, or reacting emotionally. Validate their feelings and perspectives.
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Be Curious, Not Intrusive: Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you like about your friend?” or “How do you feel about that?” to encourage sharing without prying.
Share Your Experiences: Normalise their feelings by sharing age-appropriate stories from your own life to show empathy and relatability.
Avoid Punishment for Honesty: Ensure they know they won’t face harsh consequences for opening up, even if their experiences go against parental expectations.
Establish Regular Check-Ins: Make casual conversations about relationships a routine part of daily interactions, so it doesn’t feel forced or awkward.
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Teaching children about boundaries and healthy relationships in a digital age
“Teach children about healthy relationships by modeling respect, empathy, and clear boundaries in your own interactions,” highlights Gursahaney. Define boundaries early through role-playing, and discuss consent using simple language to help them understand their rights over their body and feelings. Gently guide them in navigating online interactions, emphasising appropriate behaviour and the importance of not sharing personal information. Equip them with tools to say “no,” recognise warning signs, and report inappropriate behaviour, fostering safety and confidence both online and offline.
