by Bertin M. Louis Jr.
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In academia, disappointment comes in many forms. You could be disappointed that a manuscript you worked on for a long time was rejected from a journal. The disappointment could come from not getting a job that you wanted. Less-than-stellar teaching evaluations disappoint many professors. My own recent example of experiencing profound disappointment in the academy is related to a decision I made which was outlined in my HigherEdJobs essay from December 2020 pertaining to leaving one academic position for another.
I actually had the opportunity to leave my current position. I was very grateful for this opportunity as it took place during a critical moment in the United States. This moment includes, but is not limited to, the current coronavirus pandemic, which has claimed over 600,000 lives in the U.S., systemic anti-Black racism, which limits the life chances of Black people, the downsizing of faculty at colleges and universities, tenure denials, and faculty of color leaving institutions which do not put enough resources into keeping them.
Ultimately I decided to stay in my current position. The factors which influenced my decision to stay include, but are not limited to, the current U.S. housing crisis and a desire to do what is best for my family. While we ultimately made the best decision, I struggle with the disappointment accompanying it. I had to turn down a great opportunity to work at a place where I would contribute to the architecture of a new department, have an important administrative position, and excellent compensation.
While this will not be the first or last time I am confronted with disappointment in the academy, I offer three tips to help you manage disappointments. Disappointment plays an important and fundamental role in shaping academic experiences.
Get Help
Throughout the process of deciding whether or not to take a different position, I went through many emotional highs and lows. At one point I realized that I needed help in managing and navigating these emotions. When finding help to navigate your disappointment, it may mean talking with a trusted friend. It might mean talking with a therapist. It might mean discussing whatever issues you have with your pastor or your imam. The point is to get help in dealing with these issues or you may internalize them in a manner that could lead to depression and anxiety. And as many of us know, mental health issues in academia are widespread.
Focus on Other Work
In addition to turning down what was a dream job for me, there are aspects of my current work situation which have left me very disappointed. This has caused me to reflect on how I must do my work differently as I move forward. Currently, I am focusing on publications and external service to help me achieve the goal of becoming a full professor. I am finding that by focusing on other work, I am able to prepare myself for the next opportunity that becomes available to me, whether it is at my current institution or elsewhere.
It is best not to dwell on failure. You will always remember the disappointment which occurred but dwelling on it will distract you from working on yourself so you will be prepared for other opportunities. Throughout this process, I have also realized that it is okay to not take opportunities that are offered to you.
Focus on Yourself
While I have been doing well professionally, I have personally never felt worse health wise. Specifically, I’ve had some health challenges which have dampened my quality of life. Adding to this, the recent deaths of other Black men in academia who were friends of mine has shaken me along with other deaths in my extended family. I interpret these events as signals that I need to slow down and change things to improve the quality of my life. This includes prioritizing my physical and mental health as well as considering future opportunities in relation to my overall health.
Academia, and the disappointments which come along with it, can be so intensely critical (critical in the most negative sense of the term) that it, at times, can mire you in paralyzing self-doubt. But disappointments in academia do not define you nor should they hold power over you. You must build yourself up in order to weather these highs and lows.
I hope my advice helps. Please be sure to share this essay with others as so many of us struggle silently with academic disappointments.
In the meantime, please be sure to follow the 4 “W”s to get the coronavirus pandemic under control: wear a mask, wash your hands, watch your distance, and wait your turn for a COVID-19 vaccine. Also, remain vigilant as the highly contagious Delta variant of the COVID-19 virus spreads across the United States and the globe.
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