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Is this the year you’re finally going to develop a contemplative practice or become more of a leader? Given that “…88 percent of people who set New Year resolutions fail them within the first two weeks,” it’s easy to conclude we’re reaching for the unattainable. According to coauthors of “Immunity to Change,“ Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey, something more complicated is afoot. We struggle to actualize our aspirations, not just because we don’t have a sustainable plan or sufficient willpower but because we hold competing commitments. If we dig deep, we can make sense of and overcome the forces that make change so challenging.
What Is Immunity to Change?
Think of a time you declared you were going to do something that would benefit you professionally or personally, but ultimately weren’t successful. What happened? Perhaps you think it was procrastination, a lack of motivation, or an abundance of distractions. Kegan and Lahey suggest peeling back a few more layers, asking questions, and observing what’s below the surface: an immune system fixated with protecting us. However, Lahey writes, the problem is that “our immune systems — physical or mental — can still get us in trouble, even when they are working on our behalf.” To protect ourselves, we end up “producing the very behaviors guaranteed to keep us from accomplishing our goals.” The immunity to change process is about unearthing the root of our resistance (what we’re protecting and why) to get to and challenge the hidden dynamic getting in our way. Only once we understand what we’re protecting and why can we change.
Mapping Your Immunity
Kegan and Lahey’s four-step process starts with the creation of an immunity map. Below are steps, guiding questions, and examples outlined in and based on chapter nine of “Immunity to Change.” Use this blank immunity map template as you begin.
1. Select an improvement goal that you care deeply about. It should have real implications for your life, carry some urgency, be within your control, and also matter to someone else in your life, whether a friend or colleague. Write it in the affirmative, focusing on what you’re eager to become, not what you’re avoiding.
- To be a better listener (especially better at staying in the present, staying focused, and being more patient)
2. Identify and list concrete examples of behaviors that undermine your goals. No judging, explaining, or sugarcoating! Kegan and Lahey emphasize that “you are just trying to go for descriptive depth and honesty. Just the behaviors themselves in all their embarrassing glory.” If you’re brave, invite others to contribute to the list. You may be surprised that a colleague notices how many times you glance at your watch when others are talking.
- I allow my attention to wander off. I make to-do lists during meetings.
3. Unearth your hidden competing commitments. Ask: “If I imagine myself trying to do the opposite of this, what is the most uncomfortable or worrisome or outright scary feeling that comes up for me?” Maybe you’d grow bored and impatient if you paid full attention. But don’t stop there. Ask what makes boredom and impatience so unbearable and terrifying. Are you making that list out of fear you’ll otherwise forget something important? What would happen then? A-ha. The dangers and risks identified here reveal what you’re trying to protect yourself from, or, in other words, what you’re committed to preventing.
- I worry I will look stupid and mess up big time.
Reframe those worries as commitments.
- I am committed to not looking stupid and not messing up big time.
If you’re committed to not messing up, it makes sense that you’d zone out as you triple-check that you’re set for something you’ll need to do later that day, right?
4. Compile your big assumptions. Start listing assumptions that could be behind your competing commitments, following this prompt: “I assume if X, then Y.”
- I assume that if I mess up big time, then I will lose my supervisor’s support and put my job in jeopardy.
Making and Sustaining the Change
Keagan and Lahey generally find that individuals who commit at least thirty minutes weekly to overcoming-immunity work start noticing positive changes within three months. During this time, you’ll question your big assumptions through controlled experimentation and see whether the data you collect supports or falsifies your assumption. The authors offer a road map for getting started with acknowledgement that this will look different for everyone and you’ll make adjustments as you learn.
1. Pick a big assumption to test. As necessary, tweak your assumption so that it isn’t too extreme to be tested. “I assume that if I mess up, I’ll get fired” might become “I assume if I make a mistake and bring attention to it, others will see me as too careless to take the lead on an upcoming project.”
2. Design your experiment. Map out what you’re going to do that’s different, considering what data you need to collect (ideally words and actions) that would support or falsify your assumption. Check whether it meets the S-M-A-R-T criteria. Is it safe, modest, and actionable in the near term? Does it assume a research stance (as opposed to a self-improvement one) in testing your big assumption?
3. Run your test, observe your findings, and repeat the process. What are you learning about your assumptions? What adjustments could you try so that you can learn more from your tests? Repeat this process a number of times, widening your scope. If you fall back into old patterns, don’t be discouraged. Consider your awareness a sign of progress and keep working. As you collect pieces of evidence that validate and invalidate your assumptions, your beliefs will shift, and with them, so will your habits.
It’s not easy to overcome our immunity to change, but it is possible.
