Being kind and nice are widely regarded as positive traits in society. However, there is growing concern that being overly nice can lower a person’s worth. People who are too agreeable are likely to be taken advantage of or not valued much by others. This is because, when someone is always available to please, then time and opinions can seem less important.
The psychological perspective
According to insights shared on the Instagram page psychology_tips_daily, there is a paradox in being overly nice: the more one tries to please others, the less they are valued. This can be explicated through several psychological principles.
Decreased scarcity effect: This principle suggests that people tend to undervalue things that are easily accessible. When someone is always available and agreeable, their time and opinions may start to seem less valuable to others. Much like any other resource, if it’s abundant, it gets taken for granted.
Perceived lack of contribution: In professional settings, individuals who constantly agree with others may be viewed as lacking meaningful contributions. People in workplaces usually value critical thinking and creativity, so the person who always accommodates others is not of much value in the group.
Insecurity and neediness: A person who continuously strives to please may come out as insecure or too dependent on the approval of others. This does not mean that one should be rude or dismissive; it is rather a reminder to respect oneself while at the same time respecting others.
The consequences of excessive niceness
Being overly nice often leads to a number of adverse outcomes, and extreme niceness is often a result of low self-esteem and a deep need for validation. Nice people often overextend themselves to people who do not even appreciate their efforts. Thus, they end up being co-dependent, taking care of others in the hopes that others will take care of them. Unfortunately, the cycle often ends in frustration and resentment rather than mutual satisfaction. Nice people do not want to have disagreements, so they may mask their feelings. This situation may cause inner emotional issues.
Pressure to be a nice person can also cause people to repress their emotions. People who feel pressured to always be pleasant have a tendency to neglect the needs of themselves and other people’s feelings. That can lead to shallow, not deep, relationships where people do not really mean what they say.
What to do in such a situation?
It is crucial for individuals who identify as extremely nice to learn how to set boundaries otherwise it can lead to overcommitment and burnout. People should learn to express their opinions and needs openly while maintaining respect for others. By doing so, they can build healthier relationships where both parties feel valued.
While being nice is regarded as a positive attribute, excessive niceness can make one feel devalued and taken for granted. Learning to set boundaries will help people hold on to their self-esteem without losing their kindness.
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