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Social situations stand to test and enhance our emotional intelligence. To be successful, these interactions require self-awareness coupled with an understanding of other people’s feelings.
A job interview can feel like an especially complex social engagement, which can contribute to the anxiety we may feel about the meeting. As interviewees, we come into the situation knowing that we will be evaluated. This can add pressure and make us feel vulnerable.
Neutralizing some of the emotional intensity around interviews and building confidence for these meetings aids both our emotional and logistical preparation. Doing some low-stakes prep work can help build comfort with the process. Here’s how to get started.
Practice Putting Yourself Out There
Creating warmth and connection with your interviewers can help make these meetings feel conversational and comfortable. Practicing your professional conversation skills can help you facilitate this.
While it is tempting to assume that interviewers will take the lead in cultivating this vibe by hosting the meeting, you can’t always count on it. If you can help foster connection, it adds to your edge. “Not everyone is a great interviewer, and that’s critical to remember as you head into an interview — hence awkward situations,” Nancy Garver, Graduate Coach with New Grad Navigator explained. While not all interviewers have the experience or soft skills to foster a connection with each candidate they meet, most aim to help make candidates feel comfortable and well-positioned to contribute.
Some interview experiences will be smooth and seamless, but it’s helpful to prepare for a range.
Remember, your interviewers are hard-working professionals who have an open position on their team. This means that they are probably working extra hard to cover the gaps while also staffing their job search. “If you make the interview easier for them to get a feel of what it’s like to work with you, you have the ability to create a lasting impression,” Garver pointed out.
Come ready to connect with your interviewers. They are just regular, busy people, and interviewing may feel challenging and awkward for them, too. Hone your fluidity for these interactions in advance by taking small risks that strengthen your social skills and bolster your emotional intelligence: Ask a question at a division meeting. Strike up a conversation with a dean in the elevator. Speak on behalf of your team during a presentation.
Recognize that you are going to be demanding a lot of your social self during your job search; in preparation, seek out opportunities to build confidence and social fluency.
Refine Your “Why”
If you’re not a salesperson, interviews can feel especially taxing because you’re operating in sales mode. And you’re not selling just anything, you’re selling your skills, experience, and personality. It’s hard to find your confident voice when it comes to pitching your personal brand to a prospective employer. Working through your pitch in a supported, low-stakes situation can help.
Get input from advisors in your network — mentors, peers, colleagues, professors, friends, etc. Tag in those who will give you honest feedback and ask good follow-up questions. Practice making a case for why you are a fit for a particular role that you are seeking. “The candidates that are most appealing not only point out how interested they are in the job, but why it’s a fit. They are able to correlate between the skills needed to do the job well and what they bring to the table with examples and preferably numbers that show success,” Garver explained. Make it easy for your interviewers to picture you in their open role by clearly discussing your “why.”
As you prepare to do this in an interview, foster an honest, open conversation with whom you are rehearsing. Ask them to share their “why” for their current role or for sample job posts, so that you can hear them discuss their professional passions along with specific examples from their work. Adopt insightful or illustrative language or devices that they use. Get comfortable having a deep back and forth about work with those you trust.
Sometimes, we think we’re preparing for an interview when we’re hashing out interview responses in our own minds. But there’s nothing like rehearsing with trusted professionals to work out the kinks. Get used to talking about the intricacies of your work, fielding questions about it, and asking others about the work that they do. This is the essence of a job interview. If you can do it comfortably and informally with your contacts, it will help make it easier when the stakes are high.
Crystalize Your Narrative
Regularly review the various versions of your cover letter and your resume. Be clear on how to tell your verbal story versus how it appears in your written materials. Recognize that these are complementary materials and be mindful about shaping their relationship.
Garver pointed out that written submissions capture details like employment date ranges, titles of a particular work group or project, etc. But when offering a narrative, it’s ok to stay high level for some details. “I’ve seen candidates get concerned if they don’t recall an exact fact from a project they worked on. Estimate it, give it a ballpark or a range instead. This is a conversation on your fit for the organization, not a pop quiz on a project you completed in your past,” she explained.
Speak to details that illustrate your fit, and let your resume outline details about your work experience. “Confidence comes when you know your background with supporting facts,” Garver explained. Don’t trip yourself up in your interview by trying to get too granular.
As you read through your materials, consider that your interviewers will have these in hand when you appear for interviews. Know what you want to share with each piece and what it illustrates about your candidacy.
You’ve Got This!
Interviewing is about learning to build comfort and fluidity when it comes to discussing yourself and your skills. It’s a process that helps build your emotional intelligence and refine your professional story. In some cases, it also yields a job. Embrace the opportunity for the many ways it stands to bolster your professional and social skills.
